Saturday, 27 July 2013

tring tring tring

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Begin your blog post this week with, ‘Tring- Tring, the phone rang…!’








Tring- Tring, the phone rang....! 

I was enjoying my Saturday siesta, when the loud ringing sound brought an end to my peaceful sleep.

"Can I speak to Mrs. Kalpana"., the voice at the other end.

"Speaking". said I,still half-asleep.

"Madam, I am Mr. Rakesh Mehra , calling from HoneyMoney Investment  Company. Can you spare  your precious few moments?".

He had already disturbed my precious forty winks and he had all my attention now.

"Bolo" (tell me).

"Madam as you know the sensex is sneezing and market is bearish , this is the ripe time to invest in Mutual Funds."




"Ripe time for whom, the investor or your firm?" I questioned him brazenly.
"Certainly for the investors, madam. After all the investor is the King". I visualized him touching the knot of his neck-tie. A king without a crown or a throne, thought I.

"Last week, you called up to tell me that it was ripe time to invest in shares"
"Madam, that time the market was bullish"
What bulls*** , I thought.

"Madam , the SarlaMoon-life Equity fund is doing well.......
"I have already invested in that MF."

"Madam, an exciting Initial Public Offer is..........
"I do not have faith in IPOs.

"Madam , DependOn Co. 's Non Convertible Debentures offering 15% interest...........
"This Company is embroiled in controversies which is likely to affect its health ."     By health I meant wealth.

His voice was weak and trailing. The buoyant force with which he had started to sell the wares of his firm was now down akin to the diving nose of the sensex. But being a member of the coveted sales fraternity, injecting Vitamin M(oney) into the sagging fortunes of his Investment firm, he was not the one to give up easily. And I was not making
life easy for him.

"Madam, How about Personal Insurance..........
"I am a Class I Government Officer and am fully covered".
I could imagine him swallowing his saliva into his parched throat.

"Madam ,Vehicle Insurance.......
"I do not own one ".
"Madam",suddenly brightening up as a lit candle in a dark room, " HoneyMoney Vehicle scheme can help you to become a proud owner of a four wheeler".
I would be the owner of the vehicle and he would be proud squeezing me dry off my money with hefty interest rate. Cursed I.

I do not have money to pay the petrol bills". lamented I.
"No problem maadaam" ,vibrating as the molecules in the aerated soft drink, "we have a separate loan scheme cell to take care of that too".
"If your Company has enough cash reserves, why doesn't it invest in all the instruments that you have mentioned."
bluntly blurted out I.
My bluntness seems to have driven the knife deep into the skin of his firm, inflicting a  bleeding wound . He said 
 " Thank you, madam for sparing me your precious time. Have a good day".
"You too...............
and the line was disconnected  before I called it a good day.



I got up to prepare a hot cup of tea laced with lemon-grass herb. HoneyMoney Investment Company would never ever disturb my siesta again.



This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda