Sunday 8 December 2013

Memories

As I traverse through the meandering lanes of my childhood , there are some curves which I prefer to ignore on purpose for they invoke painful memories which I have pushed into the deep  and dark abyss of my mind and on my recollection wish an eraser to wipe it away clean without a trace of residue. But if wishes were horses............... and it re-surfaces to hurt,agonize and antagonize me. I have never shared this incident with anyone. But speaking it out or making it known to people  does not unburden or lessen the weight of guilt. I stand in the  culprit's box with great uneasiness.

                                            

My mother had employed a maid who helped in the smooth running of our domestic machinery. The maid's brother , a lanky boy , maybe a year or two older to me, dropped to do odd jobs in the off-season months of farming to supplement his income. Being a boy from rural hinterland , he was simple. My mom employed him to carry our school bags (my bro's and my ) from home to school and back. Me and my brother used to hand our our heavy school bags and play for some-time and then head back home. Our school bags reached home before we did. This routine continued. 

One day as I was climbing the stairs of my first floor flat ,I saw the boy sitting on the steps with my book in his hands. I was a bit surprised and asked him the reason for the odd behaviour. He shyly told me that he too would love to attend school and that the feel of the school book was soothing for him. I was taken aback. Most of my classmates despised the drudgery of school life. and here was one illiterate boy who was willing to study but opportunity was not availed to him.And when I closely saw , he had held the book up-side down. I just asked him to pack my bag and deposit it home.

My immaturity and lack of worldly experience failed to realize the gravity of the situation.But as I traverse back through the road , this memory invokes unpleasant feelings and my guilty mind creates a seismic activity deep down my heart.The lava poured out cannot be cooled even by the Antarctic glaciers melting. I should have helped him come closer to his dreams. I could have done something in my limited capacity , I now rue.

But time does not stand still and a lot has changed. 

The government has made primary education compulsory. But this rule has to be strictly implemented.Being literate and educated ,  arms one with an invisible gun that can shoot down the monsters of poverty and ignorance. Those who are unarmed realize the value and worth of it.


Sometimes journey of life is not travelled in miles ahead but with                           memories in the reverse direction.

                                       


I now believe that every child should have the right to attend school and is the duty of the society to send every child to school. Read here.


Readers, do share your memories with me. Is it right that one should share bitter/unpleasant memories with others ?

                        FOR :  WRITE TRIBE FESTIVAL OF WORDS -II DAY 1

                                                 Write Tribe



Read Vidya Sury's memories of her great grand-mother.





25 comments:

  1. I can relate to this Kalpana I had a similar experience w.r.t. to caste-ism and boy what a shock it was for me!!!


    Memories need not be happy or sad they are what they are - memories. It is what they make us that makes them happy or sad!! <3

    Touching post

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    1. Agree Privy that memories are memories , neither good or bad, which have to be carried as we go forward in life.

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  2. I agree, education should be a right not a privilege. But one can help now. Sponsor a child and send him to school.

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  3. A pretty profound post. True, education shouldn't be just for the privileged. It should be for all .

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  4. school is the first stage of life...most of the unforgettable times and precious memories take root in school...it is unfortunate that these kids can't attend school..

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  5. What you did was in ur innocence. There are many things which we would like to correct in hindsight.
    But yes each single child has to be educated

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  6. I agree, the right to education for every child has to be taken seriously , especially in India. But in a country where parents send their own children for labor work, where every single rupee that is earned by a family member matters a lot, I have my doubts about it.

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  7. I applaud your courage in sharing this, Kalpana and I'm glad you did. We all have done things in our past that we are not proud of - in this case, you were a child who didn't know better. Memories of this kind can either paralyze with guilt or impel us to do something to make a difference - if not to the person we hurt, but to others. When we know better, we do better, as Maya Angelou says. And I know that you speak up for children's education every chance you get.

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  8. so many unfortunate kind you can find around. your post comes as a reminder to the fortunate ones about how blessed we are!!

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  9. such incidents are hard to erase from memory even though the brain tries to rationalize it as the act of a child but the heart does not agree. you brought out a good point in your post kalpana. looking forward to your other posts this week :)

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  10. I can relate to this. Somehow these awkward/embarrassing/negative memories have a tendency of coming up over and over again and affecting the way we feel in the present. Many of us beat ourselves up over insignificant events that truly went unnoticed by others or happened so long ago that nobody else even remembers. Still, these memories manage to stick around, stay alive in our heads, and torment us. In fact have seen that sharing and comparing our incident with others will make us feel better. And the best is to let go and trying to forgive ourselves! :)

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  11. Kalpana - As kids we DO NOT understand the full implications of our actions.. But I also believe we get many chance to pay it back forward. by writing this post, if you inspire one person to study - I think that would be great?

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  12. I can relate to it, too and you've made a difference by blogging about it. Cheerz, Kalpana:)
    www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com

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  13. Memories good or bad make up who we are. I believe you were meant to see that then so you could truly appreciate and understand now. You inspire many with your writing. ♥

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  14. Kudos to you Kalpana for sharing this. I am sure all of us have at least one such guilt feeling lying around somewhere inside. The feeling that, if only we could go back in time and help that person. A very important message so well expressed. What a wonderful start to the festival!

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  15. A heart warming post Kalpana...and its true, so many children inspite of all the laws are denied the basic right to education. Their hungry eyes..search food in the form of words and we fail to recognize that they are starving!!!
    Loved the pic!

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  16. I completely agree with you. We don't realise the importance of anything that is easily obtained. Some will have to go through a life time of struggle to achieve that.

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  17. It takes guts to pen down a post like this and put it out there for the rest of the world to read and comment on. Like Corinne says, you did it back then because you were just a kid and didn't understand the implications that's all.

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  18. Thank you for sharing this!
    My dad used to help out our maid's sister and brother with their 10th std studies...
    It just goes on to show how important education is..

    Lovely and strong post Kalpana! :)

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  19. Yes, I, too applaud your courage and appreciated your post. Thank you for sharing from your heart

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  20. You post shows how much you feel for that one unintentional incident. Education is a fundamental right of every child and each one must help all the children to get at least the free primary education, which strengthens them.

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  21. My house too had a maid. And her kids never studied much. As a child I taught them all that I learnt in school. Mother would be very happy watching me do that...

    Richa

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  22. Hmmm.... A thought important to be expressed... :)

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  23. Money ruined education. Things are changing slowly. Nice to see empathy in people and concern for others. Keep your writings coming... Inspire many.. :)

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please show some love......