Monday 11 November 2013

questions

                                                   


I read Rekha 's post  Kids and the Difficult Questions they ask and my memory went into a rewind mode to a decade back, when my son was in K.G.

 When we see small kids playing in the park , we see innocence in their little eyes. But wait till they start with a barrage of innocent questions and you as a parent are at wit's end to give a proper and decent solution. The questions posed by them are funny , shocking, absurd  and of course intelligent that your brains could never have imagined. A parent should cultivate the delicate art of lying (Yes, you read it right) laced with the most innovative answers, with a straight face. Any flinching on your part and the umpire will raise its tiny finger to declare you out ,  and the parent will be scurrying to the pavilion.

Son ( to me) : mom , Did you buy chocolates for me?  

Me : The shop is closed. (lying). Shopkeeper Uncle is sick.
                                     Or
        All the chocolates are exhausted. Tomorrow morn I will get them as soon as the             shop re-opens.(tomorrow is another day and will cook up something else)    

                                                     
I had to search for answers to quench the insatiable thirst of a child that Google was/is incapable of throwing up. The answers blurted out to relieve my mind  are/were scanned and scrutinized under a magnifying glass and another uneasy query posed.

My hubby's cousin , from Bangalore, called up one fine morning to share the good news of the birth of his daughter.

Me : (to hubby) Your cousin (say P) has a baby girl. (translated from Kannada).

Son : P kaka (paternal uncle) is a boy. How can he have a baby?

Me : P kaka's wife has given birth to a baby girl. (correcting myself)

Son  : O.K. ( I was relieved, but he was ruminating)

Son : How does the doctor know whether the baby is a boy or a girl?

Me : How does it matter whether its a boy or a girl , a baby is a baby? 

        Countered questioned I , thinking it would be the end of              the embarrassing dialogue. But I was not so lucky to let off the guillotine.

Son : But we have to buy clothes for the baby. Should we buy a frock or a shirt?

Me :  Baby clothes are the same for a boy and a girl.

Before he could pull the trigger of his inquisitive mind , and shoot more questions, I reminded him that he was getting late for school. And he hurried. I breathed a sigh of relief.  Couldn't the arrival of the news of the baby girl be delayed till son had reached school? 

                                                     


A child's mind is like a magician's box, conjuring the most unexpected doubts to raise the parent's anxiety levels. With a wave of the magic wand, when a rabbit is expected to pop up, a dove will flutter out ,  leaving you totally confused. Answering and satisfying a child's query is like adding a  feather in one's cap. 

Patting your back after you have successfully managed to quench his doubts ,  you feel you have achieved a Himalayan task. And before you even start basking in your pride that you are staring at another question.

I had taught my son to offer prayers at our little pooja area which he diligently obeyed. One day he said that his teacher had told him that God is omnipresent , then why is it necessary to pray in the pooja area only?  I had/have no proper answer.

A child 's mind is deep and fathomless like a well . The water in the well is akin to  a large reservoir of doubts and the pulley of the child's mind working its way up and down the walls of the well. The parenting methods act as the bucket which hold the child's curiosity and when quenched , pour out the contents to make space for more , irrigating a child's fertile mind. The harvest reaped will be rich and nutritious and the child , its parents as well as the society will stand to benefits from the fruits of the labour.


                                               



13 comments:

  1. I could so relate to each of those incidents. The omnipresence of God was a recent one that the teacher taught Lil Love. Luckily I got her to query the teacher herself about why we pray in that particular room, because it was Lakshmi Pooja in their school the very next day. :-D But honestly, I prefer to tell them the truth for as many as possible in a subtle manner that helps them understand only as much as is necessary. Mostly, the husband handles the tough ones. :-)

    Lovely article it is and thanks for the mention. :-)

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    1. I too prefer to tell the truth but the kids have to be a little matured to understand some facts.And I have observed that a single child takes a little more to understand while a child having a sibling(s) learns faster.

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  2. Loved this post for multiple reasons, as some of these questions are ones I already face with my little 2 yr old right now, especially the ones around chocolates and sweet treats that we give her. As is the norm, she never has enough of those.

    And have to love your son for being so perceptive to the fact that God is omnipresent and pooja does not have to be done at the pooja area alone :D

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  3. Chocolates , T.V. times and games are never enough for children. I set a deadline for playing computer games , FB time but he always exceeds it but feels that its not enough. Now in his teens, my son has realized that even though God is omnipresent , the pooja area in the house is very sacred.Many a times with the passing of the time , the kids too do accept many things.

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  4. Hahaha! My niece can still not ask questions. My cousin was this inquisitive. He wanted to know everything and we have had really embarrassing times trying to manage things.

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    1. Do share with us the embarrassing anecdotes. while some may be embarrassing some other are hilarious too.

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  5. Hi Kalpana - I can imagine how difficult answering awkward questions must be -takes a lot of creativity to be a good parent, I'm sure! :)

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    1. Yes Corinne , it takes a lot of creativity and some white lies to pacify a child. At a proper stage an information has to be given but it cannot be handed over prematurely.

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  6. haha!! yea.. kids and their questions!!

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    1. Kids ask the most unexpected questions and parents are caught off-guard.

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  7. Generally I have always told my kids the truth and explained anything they didn't understand. We have a very open relationship. In most instances knowledge is power. I am just not a very good liar.

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    1. Truth should be told to the children to the children but at a proper time and its wrong to give out facts prematurely as they wouldn't understand. And this is what even teachers and counselors advice the parents.A child if given the liberty will eat a whole big bar of chocolate as the kid cannot resist the temptation knowing fully of tooth decay. here the parent has to resort to white lies.

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  8. Yes Kalpana many times it is embarrassing to give correct answers to the kids.Your post has perfectly outlined the questions which the kids ask their parents.

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please show some love......